And fecal matters.
**When you are So - v i e t!**

*Ba dum tss*
Charlize Heron
Because /r/jokes is more consistent than the president.
I'm so straight that i don't even like girls at this point, because girls like dick and that's gay!!
Roll Tide
that's probably why the coach wont let him play
Roombah humbug!
I was right.
He's been gelt-tripping me ever since.
But inside, she's really shy.
The talent agent asks ''how can he help them'' and the four of them reply ''we've got a special show we want to premier and offer to your agency''. The agent agrees to let them audition and the four start their performance. The shorter of the two males rips all his clothes off, showing his amazing physique, he then squats down, parts his cheeks and shits all over the floor. The other three shout, ''no, no, you're doing it wrong''. Then the second male rips his clothes off too, bends the other over, starts rimming him, then stands up, and inserts his slightly above average penis into the now clean anus of his friend. Each thrust he exclaims 'no homo, no homo'. A glitter bomb explodes and the lid of the suitcase bursts open. A homeless man, dressed in a mankini jumps out and starts having sex with the now naked female members of the party. The first shorter man is smearing poop all over the face of his satisfied friend, who's laying naked in a pool of the homeless mans vodka tinged vomit. The girl not getting shagged grabs a banjo from the suitcase and starts playing acoustic renditions of Frank Ocean whilst drinking home made wine. Finally , to a great crescendo, a hidden compartment opens on the side of the suitcase, and three kittens prance out, all wearing Adidas sneakers. They start break dancing in a line with the five other members of the troupe. The music and dancing stops, the five now exhausted performers bow, turning to gaze at one another with a the kind of smile that says 'we nailed it'.
The talent agent, now standing on his feet is silence, with his jaw open in amazement and a look of surprise in his eyes, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a vape. An awkward silence comes over the room as he inhales, and the performers now feeling disappointed, start to pack away their equipment. Suddenly claps interrupt the silent blueberry scented mist of the room. 'Bravo, FUCKING BRAVO GUYS, that shit was next level'.
The five performers, three of them holding kittens, stand up in unison. ''What you liked it'', the girl name Sarah exclaimed with a nervous shocked tone? ''You bet your grandmas gold I liked it'', came the agents reply , ''but, just one thing I need to know guys, what do you call your show?'' to which the five of them all exclaimed in unison ''the Redditers''!
because I love killing babies, but I also hate the idea of giving women choice.
Because they're only funny if *everybody* gets them.
How do I format these jokes?